A recipe for pizza

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Aug. 4th, 2011 | 11:29 pm

1. Mix up some yeast with warm water and sugar, leave it for ten or fifteen minutes.

2. Sieve some white flour into a bowl. Add a pinch of salt, a little sugar, the yeast and water and mix for a while into a soft dough.

3. Knead the dough for a while in a small kitchen on a wooden board because there are no other good surfaces, increasingly bothered by the lack of space.

4. When the initial kneading has nearly been finished, knock the board off the counter and dump the dough on the floor.

5. Shout "FUCK".

6. Grab the dough and try to wash the crap from the flour off it, while shouting "FUCK". The crap from the floor will not come off - this is to be expected.

7. Gradually realise that this is a waste of time as the dough is just getting wetter and is just as dirty. Think briefly about physically removing the dirty parts of the dough before realising that that, too, would be a waste of time. You may wish to shout "FUCK" throughout this stage.

8. Throw dough in bin. Damage lid of bin. Kick bin, damaging it more. Shout "FUCK FUCK FUCKING KITCHEN FOR FUCK'S SAKE TOO FUCKING SMALL CAN'T I DO ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING PLACE".

9. Pour a drink.

10. Pour another drink.

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Comments {12}

mother of the angry mob

Re: Work-surfaces for pastry

from: pennyland
date: Aug. 12th, 2011 09:25 pm (UTC)
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He could put a marble removable top on it though!
I'm referring to the 'good/industrial' type of s.s.trolley, those cheap ones are shite.

They really Don't Move when you're making dough on them, and I find small clamps keep the stone surface pretty stable. Put one of those odd 'non-slip' mats under it.

Very own cook island, that stows under the table! :)


"Hey Fridge! You should go to the sea side!" :D

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