A recipe for pizza

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Aug. 4th, 2011 | 11:29 pm

1. Mix up some yeast with warm water and sugar, leave it for ten or fifteen minutes.

2. Sieve some white flour into a bowl. Add a pinch of salt, a little sugar, the yeast and water and mix for a while into a soft dough.

3. Knead the dough for a while in a small kitchen on a wooden board because there are no other good surfaces, increasingly bothered by the lack of space.

4. When the initial kneading has nearly been finished, knock the board off the counter and dump the dough on the floor.

5. Shout "FUCK".

6. Grab the dough and try to wash the crap from the flour off it, while shouting "FUCK". The crap from the floor will not come off - this is to be expected.

7. Gradually realise that this is a waste of time as the dough is just getting wetter and is just as dirty. Think briefly about physically removing the dirty parts of the dough before realising that that, too, would be a waste of time. You may wish to shout "FUCK" throughout this stage.

8. Throw dough in bin. Damage lid of bin. Kick bin, damaging it more. Shout "FUCK FUCK FUCKING KITCHEN FOR FUCK'S SAKE TOO FUCKING SMALL CAN'T I DO ANYTHING IN THIS FUCKING PLACE".

9. Pour a drink.

10. Pour another drink.

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Comments {12}

mother of the angry mob

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from: pennyland
date: Aug. 10th, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC)
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I realize this is an extremely late reply, but I just found/got the best 'pretend it's an island' stand. You need a stainless steel table that has both wheels and 'dead-stoppers' on those wheels. it makes and excellent bread station, and can be moved.

If your dough ever falls on the floor, consider it fucked.

It is.

all the wishing and picking in the world won't fix it. It's fucked.

Make some new :)

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mother of the angry mob

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from: pennyland
date: Aug. 10th, 2011 11:28 pm (UTC)
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and drink way more than you think you have to.

it'll knock anything right out of the bothersome area of your head :)

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