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important financial news, britain back on track etc

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Nov. 24th, 2008 | 04:40 pm
mood: bitchybitchy

What does the pre-budget announcement mean? Well, mostly, it lets the government claim they're going to increase the top rate of income tax by saying that they'll do it after the next election. Which they will lose. Also, there is a brief cut in VAT from 17.5% to 15% which we'll see at most a few pence of, because prices won't actually go down by a whole 2.1% (work it out) you can bet, and also fags, booze and petrol won't go down at all because they're raising the duty on them to compensate.

Other measures I can't say I am entirely sure about but instinct and experience suggest that they are either irrelevant, papering over the cracks at best, will end up giving money to people who already have it or are just plain and simple bullshit. That's pretty much how it works. Don't worry though, I'm sure a vast increase in public borrowing will save us. Somehow.

Coincidentally enough, at the same time the police will be getting 10,000 tasers. Or as the Daily Mash says:
POLICEMEN across England and Wales could not sleep last night after being told they were going to get electric stun guns.
In a separate announcement the Department of Health has predicted a 100,000% increase in members of the public electrocuted for being cheeky.
The Daily Mash has some good pieces recently; I also liked Everything To Be Really Cheap But You'll Have No Money Anyway, Say Experts.
PRICES are to fall dramatically over the next 12 months which will be particularly annoying for you as you will have no money, the Bank of England said last night.

The cost of everyday goods, such as petrol and sofas, will drop to the lowest level since 1827, but it won't really matter because you'll be raking through the bins.

Bank economist Julian Cook said: "It is going to be frustrating standing there in your dirty clothes, looking in all those shop windows with a big, sad expression on your face and thinking, 'that is so cheap, if I had some money I could totally afford it'."
P.S. Yes, I did put some strawberries in the headers on this journal, which most people won't see but hey.

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Budget

from: anonymous
date: Nov. 25th, 2008 02:59 pm (UTC)
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fiddle ....Rome .... burning ....

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